Wishful Thinking ......

Faint traces of music drift
To my ears in the lonely night
Words barely audible yet familiar

A little too familiar this time
Taking me back to times and places
I never knew I had left behind.

Intending to turn the radio off
I only manage to increase the volume
Hoping you will somehow hear
And miraculously return
To sing each broken phrase with me
Knowing it's foolish to believe you will
I get lost in the memories each song brings.

"Seven sins of wantonness " and
You were every one of mine
We whispered the words together and
Although Shimmer was always your favorite
You were nothing but Bittersweet to me.

"Just a day, just an ordinary day"
Never came close to being ordinary
As you sang along slightly embarressed
I swore I'd never tell, secretly listening closely
I got lost in every word with you.

"One step closer to recovery"
Was still too many steps away
I'm left thinking of times and fears before
You sing along so passionately
I imagine you must be as well.

"These walls around me are the palest of white"
And that was too much for me to handle
I switched the song, leaving you confused
Never attempting to explain my reasons
You thought you knew, I'm betting you didn't.

"Let's start out, by starting over"
Is much easier said than ever done
You joked about old scars and I didn't laugh
I didn't even hear the rest of the song
For I was trying too hard not to react.

"These wounds won't seem to heal"
But were just as easily disguised
By your smiling face and sparkling eyes
You sang along with a purpose
I pretended I didn't want to know.

And my hands are shaking
And my eyes are tearing up
And my throat is raw with emotion
I swore I'd never show again
And I'm loving every painful second
Of this torture my radio is inflicting.

I'm screaming the words now
Louder than I ever have before
Begging, pleading for you to save me
From every memory I can't forget
And suddenly there isn't any sound
For you are standing in the doorway
Hand silencing our history.

I walk over, barely able to stand
And your fingers stop every word
From ever leaving my wounded lips
Music once again fills the room
As you sing along to me
And I start to forget how badly it hurt
To watch you walk away.

Silently you promise forever
And I reply with fond memory "Only forever?"
Staring with nothing but love into your eyes
I once again begin to whisper each broken phrase
As you continue to softly sing to me
And every memory is rewritten
And every pain is taken away
And every fear is silenced
For you have returned to me.